Friday, 20 November 2009


Once again folks, sorry about the slight delay in posting. E found herself down with a hideous bug that not even a drinking session with Alison was going to fix. But now that the sneezing, aches and nose blows are down to minimum, we both have settled down with our Irish Coffees (thanks Alison for the recipe, btw) and it's time to recap!

E: DIVA MAGAZINE! Riley's rack is in a lesbian mag! I knew it! Jo shoots for dyke magazines!

A: Do lesbians like Rack?

E: For the record, this lesbian does not. This lesbian likes the photographer....and Sydney. I would happily bed either.

A: Good selections! Me...not so much for the rack. I'll take Caleb and Auggie..not too greedy I think!


A: Manolos?

E: Can't see red soles, so not Louboutins.

E: The Bitch is Back!

A: Good shoes, but bad skirt! Did someone put it through a paper shredder?

E: Bad skirt and bad plastic surgery!

A: Cripes! Her top lip isn't moving!

E: She's looking very Madam Tussauds...

A: All she's missing is an Asian tourist standing behind her working the peace sign with the fingers

E: I think we need to persuade Daphne Zuniga to give her a public service announcement on not fucking up your face.

A: "Anton V? More like Anton Y" Amanda, I just fell for you! She saw his doucheyness too!

E: Such a great line!

E: Sandra O is sharing her rack for a change.

A: She's trying to compete with... well...Rack!

A: Aww Davey boy bought her Macy Gray tickets.

E: Surely he'd be taking her to a Jay-Z gig? Or Amy Winehouse.. "They tried to make me go to rehab and I said no no no....not unless Sydney comes too."

A: Either way it's a dud date. He'd wait until you popped off to the toilet before stealing something out of your bag.

A: Ewww. A zipper dress?! Ella, you need to stop wearing the Jane Andrews oniginals!

E: I really want Amanda to pull Ella's zipper next time she gets pissed off.

A: Heather's frozen top lip is mesmerizing!

E: The capped teeth scare me.

A: So does her ultra-smooth cleavage!

E: Part of it is that they're filming her in soft focus. You only notice it when they cut between her and Ella. In spite of all their efforts, it still doesn't help her look any less scary.

A: The wardrobe department for this show must be reading our blog. Jonah's wearing a shirt. No slogan guessing for us.

E: Sadly yes, but have you seen the print of said shirt?

A: Barf.

E: Gay Matt would be embarrassed to be caught wearing that thing

A: Even back in the 1990's!

E: Wait-- if the W in WPK stands for Woodward, then does the P stand for Parker?

A: If it does stand for Parker, I'm sure they're repping numerous Vodka clients.

E: Absolut-ly!

E: Bikini rack time!

A: It's everywhere! Ok..Jonah makes Mojito's? He becomes less douchey when alcohol is involved.

E: Perhaps he's going to take over Vile-it's job at spiffyShooters?

A: Either way, Vile-it was never good with the drink making.

A: Speak of the devil....

E: I really wish they'd put her in Taylor Momsen style outfits for her last few episodes..that would be hilarious!

A: Hot outfits on a so-so character.

E: Let's see how many lame-ass movie titles they can fit into one Ashlee monologue...

E: "He's just not that into you"

A: "I Still know what you did last summer"

E: "You drive me crazy"

A: "Marley and me"

E: "Confessions of a shop-a-holic"

A: "She's all that"

E: "Knocked up"

A: Doing it this way means she'll remember her lines.

E: Nice launch party.

A: I'm liking Rack's dress.

E: But am I really supposed to believe that she wouldn't be wearing jeans to a jeans launch party? That's stupid. She should be wearing jeans and a sparkly top.

A: Apparently the launch party is for Rack and not "Real Jeans for real people by Anton Y"

E: Ok. Let's take a moment to discuss Jonah's plaid jacket.

A: And bow tie...he just earned his doucheyness back.

E: Davey boy is busting into Michael's Merc.

A: "Can you see what I see?"

E: Michael plays golf?

A: Nah that was left to Peter..he used the clubs as a cover while he was banging Sydney.

E: Ok Sydney in THAT top! I want that top sooo badly (Someone identify the designer please)!

A: I love how a 2 second flashback of Sydney shows that she really is so much hotter than the rest of the cast.

E: I think it showed Heather how a real lady can look at 40.

E: Bahahahaha! Sandra O looks totally baked!

A: She's got that 'Geeky best friend of a hot supermodel' look going on.

E: Apparently that get-up took her 5 hours...

A: 5 Hours?! So 4 hours of smokey time, 30 minutes munchies and 30 minutes in front of the mirror tripping out!

E: Hey! Our first token Brit Chick!

A: Lassie is channeling Liz Hurley and Sophie Ellis Bextor.

E: "Murder on the dance floor... you better not break the groove deejay..."
Cue lez-ploitation...

A: Yay!!! Ella got her penis back!

E: Why has it taken 10 episodes for Ella to get her dyke on?

A: And in a room with a wine rack wall? Class.

E: Aww Davey boy is cute!

A: Boy has waaaay to much free time.

E: He painted each one of those leaves by hand.

A: Well the thought is cute, but that shit is gonna be a bitch to clean up!

E: "Wait, did you break into my apartment?" Took a bit for the penny to drop.

A: So she's not so much with the "Hooker P.I" anymore.

E: Nah she's off duty.

A: So that's how guys get chicks...break in to their apartment, re-decorate and make a mess.

E: Yup, it's just that easy in 'het-world', apparently.

A: Aww Rack thinks Auggie slashed Sydney. She's totally un-friending him on Facebook now.

E: He's turning to drink. He needs it to sit through another scene with Vile-it.

A: He's the male Alison!

E: Auggie is Keith. He's gonna move to Seattle and whack himself over the phone to Riley and then Jonah's gonna go investigate and make a documentary about it, and be all 'raaaah! I will throw you off the scaffolding in my plaid suit jacket!

A: That'd be a cool docu!

E: I heart Ella's necklace!

A: Kinda Dykey.

E: Fuck yeah!

E: I wonder if Amanda's appearance was last minute? I'm missing her black roots.

A: Give it an episode! Was Amanda this vicious in the original?

E: Hell yeah!

A: So Ella is Amanda's Alison.

E: I think the writers originally wanted to pitch Ella as Amanda, but she wasn't up for the task so this way they've brought back Amanda and are letting Ella fill the Alison role.

E: Rack got fired from teaching.

A: Ooh total dundundun moment! Amanda totally called the school!

E: Guess she's gotta be a full-time model now. Cue Models Inc. Spin-off.

A: Better give Linda Evans enough time with Heather's plastic surgeon!

E: LMAO! Wait...we're missing Jonah's T-shirt with all this spin-off excitement!

A: What does it say?!

E: "Same shirt, different day...."

A: Oh. Yawn.

A: Someone trashed Syd's place...broken photo...

E: Amanda wants Syd's piano. She wants to know if she can out-do Syd's The Fabulous Baker Boys' impression.

A: Oooh wall safe?! In Syd's place?!

A: All that's inside is a note?!

E: "You will never find it." FUCKING A! best moment!!!!!

A: Wait! What will Amanda never find?!

E: Kimberly's wig? Amanda and Peter's 'home movies'?

A: Taylor's lips? Amanda is almost there you know!

E: Duuude! Whatever Syd has, it's in the missing basement! We were so right!

A: Well, we did say the basement would show up!

And that's all for now. Until next week...

Much love,


1 comment:

  1. you guys are great - the kimberly's wig part was hilarious :-)))