Guh...we do apologize about the lateness of this recap, but since we got wind that Amanda was heading back to town, we have been in a flurry making sure everything was in it's place for her return. Alison and her vodka have been boxed away under the stairs, Peter is hidden safely in the missing basement and Jane is still in her walk-in wardrobe trying to find her way out....so now that everything is in place, it's time to bitch!
E: I'm already bored by last week's preview.
A: Well except for the Sydney snipets.
E: Speaking of Melrose alums...Is Jo planning on coming back?
A: I haven't heard. I'm still on the 'Jo seducing Ella' storyline we came up with a while ago.
E: BTW, I'm well impressed that you managed to watch this epsiode earlier all by yourself.
A: I almost died doing it.
E: We should probably recap huh?
A: Errm, guess so...
A: So why are hot guys paying Sandra O for sex?
E: Kimber is trying to shield Sandra O from the reality of hookering.
A: Start her off with the Chace Crawfords and Robert Pattinsons and slowly move her down to the Mikey Rourkes and Steve Buscemis.
E: Oh we're in Pink scrubs now?
A: Yeah the pink makes her feel less whorey.
E: I really wish she'd wear teadybear scrubs like Zoey on Nurse Jackie.
A: Throw in the addiction to pills and we got ourselves a show!
A: Why does Jonah's T-shirt say "Life Coach?"
E: Hahahahahahahahaha! Yeah right!
A: Jonah you ain't Ava from Nip/Tuck...now that was a lifecoach!
E: If he had a sex change this might be more interesting though.
A: He/she would still be a douche!
***
E: "What would a boy do without his balls?" Ella is most classy here.
A: Making homos seem hetero...so not cool...though his pink wallpaper on his monitor is somewhat camp.
E: Indeed.
A: So this episode's hot young star is a German director?
E: I'd pay to hear Ella speak German!
A: Oh just wait! You'll be paying up! :)
***
A: Guh...now we are being made to work out what Jonah's T-shirt says in this scene.
E: I can't see enough of it. Anyways, I'm hoping that Riley lands in the can. A lesbian spin-off of her in prison might be somewhat watchable.
A: And Syd's old cellmate Bertha can make regular appearances!
A: "AFRIDERZANE" Ella + German = FAIL
E: OMG. He's meeting Michael Haneke!
A: Jonah is sooo Dawson Leery - minus the Steven Spielberg and the Creek.
E: I really hope they discuss Isabelle Huppert in La Pianiste.
A: This is Los Angeles, and it's Ella and Jonah. We'd be lucky to get something starring Isabella Rossellini.
A: "Dunka Shayne" gawwd Ella...at least attempt to speak German correctly!
E: LOLLLL. Das Lied. Iiiiih! Was fuer ein Arschloch.
A: Ok you need to stop! You're making me feel like Ella! Next thing I know i'll be saying "AFRIDERZANE"
E: Die gehen gleich ins Hotelzimmer.
A: "AFRIDERZANE!"
A: So David believes he is Amelia Earhart in this scarf yes?
E: Apropos of nothing, riding a Ferris wheel stoned is awesome!
A: Class.
A: We NEED to talk about the color of this dress on Ella. It's sort of Lime-Caca-Mustard.
E: Her bag is kind of cool.
A: It's being used to distract from the dress color.
E: I do like the cut of the dress though. Would look amazing in black.
A: Jane Andrews is always one step with her designs.
E: Alas.
A: Geez, Ella is not subtle! "You and me...yes! You and Rack..yawwwn".
E: We could see this coming from episode 1, yes? It follows the Biwwy/Alison Biwwy/Amanda formula.
A: Yeah, though Amanda just used her office while Ella is trying to book some hotel down the street.
A: Rack is AIMING
E: Riley's laptop is pink!
A: She needs to do a Karen Walker and type with her boobs.
E: And also drink vodka before 10am
A: And in a bathrobe
E: I think we need to give them new IM names
A: Riles17...the size of her rack yes?
E: Riles34DD.
E: Michael!! Syd needs to be alive. And shagging you.
A: Thats why he's gone soft on Davey boy.
E: Dear me. Now I'm even bored of this scene.
A: David is stunned by the lameness
E:I fell asleep.
A: You didn't miss much
E: David wants to get in Sandra O's pants.
A: It's gonna cost him.
E: Wonder how much she's gonna charge him?
A: I wonder how much Kimber takes?
E: 20% cut
A: See i was gonna say 15% house rules. Wow you'd be a richer pimp than me!
E: No. definitely 20%.
A: My whores would be less classy too.
E: I have like five cars on Mafia Wars!
A: I let my farm die on Farmville
E: You know this show is screwed when discussing facebook games is more interesting than two characters getting it on...
A: Yeah I just kinda noticed Sandra O and Davey smooching.
E: Thank God that's over..there wasn't even a 'Vile-it' mention! Well at least on Wednesday, if all else fails, I can spend the 45 minutes lamenting Heather Locklear's plastic surgery FAILs.
A: Omg totally!
E: She looked freaky on Conan...yuck.
A: One season on Melrose later she'd be looking all Jocelyn Wildenstein.
E: Or Joan Collins
A: Dear god.
Ah well...Till Wednesday
Love
A&E
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