WATCHING EPISODE FOUR...

A: Ella, when did sleepwear become classed as pool wear?

E: I’m sure Amanda did it first

A: it was probably in leopard print

E: although… perhaps we saw it first on Bai Ling?

E: JAAAANE!!!!!!

A: Jane Andrews?! What happened to Mancini?!

E: It’s nice to see that she still has the same diabolical dress sense. BTW, have we ever found out why Syd had a piano? other than to pull a “fabulous baker boys” impersonation on it.

A: I’m sure Syd always felt she was the Divine Miss M underneath all the crazy

E: Jane watched E!

A: go figure! I thought she was more a food network kinda girl

E: also, since when did Jane become such a bitch?

A: Around when Michael stopped fucking her.

A: Frame within the frame… Jonah and his big penis are trying to seduce Riley

E: Wasn’t the bath room originally on the right?

A: It’s portable.

A: Jane said “bra” hehehe.

E: I’m worried about Jane’s top

A: Too fluncy. flouncy.

E: But I want her pink measuring tape

A:So Syd had the baby in college?! She totally banged a professor!

E: She REALLY needed that “A”

A: It was a pre-med course.

E: Violet wants bail money

A: Let her rot

E: I’d quite like it if she never came back

A: She might meet her mommy’s bitch

E: She’s taking away from quality Sydney time.

A: Jane is once again in ANOTHER fashion crisis! things never change

E: omg. what the eff is jane wearing?

A: She just ‘put’ it together.

E: She fell into her closet, more like it.

A: I thought more a ‘FAIL’ piece from Project Runway

E: Reilly’s flirting with other more successful people

A: So she should

E: Perhaps they’re less dull that Jonah

A: Not perhaps!

A: Cops vs Violet….this is so painful to watch.

E: Cops acting skills 10. Violet’s acting skills - 4

A: Pain.

E: Somewhere, Darren Star is hurling popcorn at his TV.

A: ALWAYS ALWAYS get money upfront! It’s in whoreing 101

E: She failed that class.

A: Did she attend?

E: Actually, no. It clashed with “How to give and get ahead in med-school without paying 103”.

E: Rilley and her rack are home.

A: Safe and sound.

E: I wonder if there’s a Razzie for TV acting, because if there is, Ashlee has to be one of the front runners.

A: Jane will be eBaying Syd’s things yes?!

E: Wait? When did Jane have desperate attempts? I mean, for other shows it would qualify, but for Melrose, Jane was positively tame.

A: I think the angry in Syd has rubbed off.

E: Jane’s hair looks awesome here. I just wish she had, you know, better clothes.

E: This so reminds me of Syd and the hooker ring, except that Syd owned that shit.

A: ‘ till she got beat up.

BEAT.

E: Anyway. that episode sucked balls.

A: Yeah where was Syd?!

…. that’s all folks. Until next week…

love,

A&E.