WATCHING EPISODE FIVE...

A: Ella isn't a pretty fake crier.

E: Ella's acting = shit. Syd = hot.

A: What is Syd doing for work these days?

E: Shagging.

A: Is Syd a talent agent?

E: Syd's an art maven. I wonder if she likes Damien Hirst....

A: She needs a pair of black rimmed glasses

E: Yes Please. Tina Fey glasses.

A: Insert missing theme song here.

A: has the bathroom moved again?

A: way sick....that hat is way sick

E: He looks like Pete Doherty

A: Minus the drugs

E: Violet and her goth eyes are trying to act

A: Not tooo bad at the moment. Maybe she's learning...

E: SYD!!!

A: Bitchy Syd!

E: Her outfit is awesome.

A: Freaking hot.btw I love that Syd has ANOTHER 'job' to add her resume.

E: "Look who's grown out of her Uggs and into her Manolos."

A: Bad manolos

A: oooh!

A: "Are you off to sign a client, or just have sex with one?"

E: That was a quality smackdown

A: LINE OF THE SERIES!

E: Sandra O and Riley bore me to sobs.

A: I think Riley heard us talking about her rack as it's well hidden.

A: I think she just poured herself an orange juice and forgot the vodka

E: Maybe not so much with the bartending?

E: Nicky Blume... couldn't they have thought of a better porn star name?

A: Yeah...something like Busty LaRoux

E: ok... Jonah's car = Billy's right?

A: Jonah's acting = Billy's yes?

A: Sandra Oh is hookering

E: um... isn't that the cop dude?

A: a whore who kisses?

E: She really did fail those classes.

A: come on Wendy...train your girls!

E: Shake yo booty Sandra O.

A: Move those lady lumps.

E: Cop's gonna teach her how to dance.

A: He's a stripper by night.

E: Or a pimp

A: Ahh Some slow motion and shes picked it up!

E: This is boring. Where's Michael?

A: Sandra O just looked latino.

E: She did.

A: ... and not satisfied.

A: Sydney is never bored

E: "I'm still angry."

A: Of course Syd is angry...there's no olive in her drink.

E: Dear God she's gorgeous... and needs a golden globe nomination.

A: Ideally a win.

E: She acts EVERYONE on this show off screen.

A: Why is Ella dressed for open heart surgery?

E: Also, why is her crotch an accessory?

A: It came with the clutch.

A: By the way - where is our fave new landlord?

E: Jane?

A: Yeah

E: I'm guessing she got stuck in her walk-in-wardrobe...

A: cue extravagant party

E: Perhaps when they're wasted they'll be less dull....

E: Jonah's been wanking off to CSI one too many times

A: I was thinking he was more a "Weeds" boy.

E: Umm since when is burglarized a word? It's burgled you twats!

A: Next they'll be saying ironical.

E: And nukular.

E: "Sorry I missed our shopping date. A cop's boner came up."

E: Ella's hair is channeling Rachel from friends.

A: umm.. should I know him?

E: Oh. he's the dude she fucked.

A: He killed Syd?

E: That's so lame.

E: I want an entire flashback episode.

A: I think we need one.

E: The 1.0 baddies were so much better.

A: Just not Betsy...she was eww.

A: Sandra O is swimming.

E: Riley and her rack are going jogging.

A: Everyone is so active.

A: Aww wet girl hug!

E: Now even Jonah's wardrobe is channeling Biwwy's

A: That's terrible! Not even a golfer would wear it and those are golf shorts!

E: "Stick with the rom-coms." Who writes this shit?

E: Kimber calling...

A: Jesus Kimber...BOOBS

E: "Hello doctor, I heard you enjoyed your patient."

A: Poor Sandra...way too stretched....studies, doctoring, bridesmaiding, whoreing...where will she find the time?

E: She'll recruit Violet in good time.

E: so... umm.. that episode was kind of so so. The Syd parts were awesome...

A: Kimber's boobs and hair were fabulous

E: Everything else sucked....

A: Especially Jonah's hat.

... and that's all for now. Until next week...

much love,

A&E.