Its a miracle! We are on time this week and that includes a week where we spent countless hours working on a Mrs. Appleby's Country Baked Goods advertising campaign, attended a black tie event for Wilshire Memorial Hospital and even managed to get our roots dyed black in honor of Amanda as well!
And on that note, it's time to bitch...
E: Aw Davey took Sandra O to that concert!
A: Hey we were close last week when we said Macy Gray tickets...just turned out to be something even lamer...Kings of Leon.
E: They have a few decent songs!
A: 'Few' being the operative word there.
E: Would have been awesome if it were Lady Gaga. "Roma roma-ma, Melrose Oooh la la... want your bad romance."
A: Eeeek! A close up view of our fave shower curtain! Oh, but it's changed.
E: Guess 'pastel pink' was out and 'rainbow pride' was in.
E: Jonah's wearing a tie without a shirt... Is he encouraging sobriety in the Melrose t-shirt drinking game?
A: Wow...so manly..hairy..grrrr.
E: So.....dull.
A: Yeah I should stop. It's Jonah for crying out loud. He's douchey not sexy!
E: The words 'Jonah' and 'sexy' should never be used in the same sentence. Ever.
E: Apparently Doc Mancini waited 5 days to get it on with wife number 7.
A: Oh as if he waited 5 days!
E: I wonder if he's into 'sexting'. BTW, I stand by the theory that she's Syd's killer.
A: Well she's definatley a scene killer.
E: He wants sex in his car?
A: Hmm...nope...she's one of those "The bedroom or nowhere" type of gals.
E: Oooh he's gonna find Syd's missing necklace!
A: Wait! OMG, he knew about the necklace...Vile-it didn't plant it when she banged him in there!
E: WIN!!!!!
A: Wow, total twist!
E: So maybe Doc Mancini did kill Sydney? Please say it isn't so!
E: Oh for fuck's sake...more Jonah?
A: Damn...he's wearing a shirt. Sobriety is ours.
A: Ella's pissed that Davey sent her pop-up nudie girls on her desktop? I see her point.
E: Ella: "Since when are naked women a bad thing?"
A: Hope she doesn't ask me!
E: Wait..who got the special guest-star status this week?
A: Dunno...was totally mesmerized by Ella's high beams.
E: What? Jonah is WPK's new I.T guy? It's sooo Melrose 1.0... you know without Biwwy shagging that Cougar journalist chick.
A: Wow, Doc Mancini owns the bat-mobile! That thing was super fast!
E: Mike's Merc totally kicked Davey's Porche's ass.
A: Mike names his car 'Kit'.
E: Wait a minute-- Did Mike just call him Davey?!
A: I'm guessing Doc Mancini reads our blog.
E: Shout-out!!!
E: Dear God...Amanda's shoes...
A: They got strapped to her legs to keep her upright.
E: Syd had been speaking to Amanda? Since when are they gal-pals?
A: Michael: "So did you re-unite at a support group for women who faked their deaths?" - Love it!
A: So Sydney got hold of an item belonging to Amanda?
E: Yeah and Amanda found Jane in her wardrobe.
A: Dear God, the monster is free! Protect your wardrobes!
E: Amanda : "As usual, Jane is useless"
A: I love Amanda.
E: In spite of her scary face.
A: Uh oh, random new guy. I think this was the original casting for Jonah...kind of like the original Biwwy casting for 1.0.
E: Oooh I like that! Though he is the same calibur actor as Ashlee. Imagine how dire it would have been if he had actually been cast...
A: We'd never get through a scene.
E: I'm not getting through this scene. I wish there was Vodka in my OJ.
A: I wish my OJ was Vodka....
A: Jeeezus that's alot of I.T type things...all in one room.
E: Jonah's going to find Amanda's secret files right?
A: Oooh he could!
E: And then she'd totally have sexy-time with him cause he's like young Biwwy.
A: Oooh she would!
A: BTW, I'm not revolted by Ella's outfit here.
E: Are those zippers on her earrings?
A: Yeah she's got the same nasty ass zipper head scar as Kimmy.
A: Vile-it has wide angry eyes
E: And rather good lipstick.
A: Eww she was doing her brother? Wait...oh adopted..ok..eww wait..
E: Ewww.
A: Ok he's total cult. I'm convinced now.
E: Totally..this guy is freaky shit.
E: Amanda's at the pool!!!!!!
A: I love how Amanda uses words like "old Friend" when talking about 1.0
E: And "good times"
A: Amanda and Sydney re-connected? They were never connected to begin with!
E: Except through a fist and handbag fight.
E: Amanda: "As an upstanding citizen" ? When has Amanda ever been upstanding?
A: Since she put those shoes on!
A: Jonah is playing hardball with Ella.
E: It's implying he has balls...
A: Hahahaha! Nice...ellasims@backstabbinglyers.com
E: I think we need to register that dot com.
A: For sure!
E: Wow shit is hitting the fan this week!
A: Yeah it's everywhere!
E: I wonder why it took 11 episodes...
E: Awww Michael said "My boy" in reference to Davey. That makes me feel gooey.
A: Any maternal instinct I might have had just died.
E: Oooh Syd's necklace was a family heirloom.
A: Yeah it came with Syd and Jane's grandmothers wedding dress.
E: Now that was a classy ensemble.
A: To die for....one that Jane didn't design!
A: Doc Mancini is snooping.
E: He still hasn't found the basement.
A: Good, that's OUR secret hideout!
E: He got the necklace back. He can give it to Jane to wear with her next wedding dress.
A: Why has he got the necklace? -- OOOOOH SET UP! FUCK!
E: Busted!
A: Sandra O and Davey totally set him up!
E: Sandra O is smart!
A: Hooker P.I is back. Mondays on FOX.
E: To think that we almost went a whole episode without a t-shirt moment...
A: Oh thank God... Actully...gawd.
E: It's hideous! The colors. The text. The clashing flannel shirt. The everything.
A: See now they are just totally flaunting this T-Shirt thing!
E: They are.
A: We have so much influence!
E: If he shows up in a bad directors or hands-off-the-rack T, I swear I'm gonna spazz.
A: Amanda is moving back to the place!
E: Thought: Did Jane really give Amanda permission to stay in the Penthouse?
A: I'm guessing Jane was too flustered with the new fall line to really worry.
E: She needs this thing that Syd has...i'm guessing it's the leopard print bed sheets.
***
A: Ok I feel like this is the Melrose we knew and loved.
E: Yeah, but I was so un-prepared for it that I found it really hard to be snarky this week.
A: So much so that we hardly touched the fashion and we went easy on Vile-it.
E: I was caught off guard with the the dun.dun.dun and more than one plot twist. It's so unaccustomed.
A: Awesome stuff!
E: Ashlee was diabolical as ever...
A: Doesn't count AFTER the episode has ended......ok it does.
And that's all for this week.
E has her grad-school graduation to attend next week and A will be tied down with a book full of clients, so the recap will be a little late. Don't say we haven't warned you of our tardiness, and hopefully Amanda will let us keep our jobs just this once.
much love,
A & E.
