WATCHING EPISODE ELEVEN...

Its a miracle! We are on time this week and that includes a week where we spent countless hours working on a Mrs. Appleby's Country Baked Goods advertising campaign, attended a black tie event for Wilshire Memorial Hospital and even managed to get our roots dyed black in honor of Amanda as well!

And on that note, it's time to bitch...

E: Aw Davey took Sandra O to that concert!

A: Hey we were close last week when we said Macy Gray tickets...just turned out to be something even lamer...Kings of Leon.

E: They have a few decent songs!

A: 'Few' being the operative word there.

E: Would have been awesome if it were Lady Gaga. "Roma roma-ma, Melrose Oooh la la... want your bad romance."

A: Eeeek! A close up view of our fave shower curtain! Oh, but it's changed.

E: Guess 'pastel pink' was out and 'rainbow pride' was in.

E: Jonah's wearing a tie without a shirt... Is he encouraging sobriety in the Melrose t-shirt drinking game?

A: Wow...so manly..hairy..grrrr.

E: So.....dull.

A: Yeah I should stop. It's Jonah for crying out loud. He's douchey not sexy!

E: The words 'Jonah' and 'sexy' should never be used in the same sentence. Ever.

E: Apparently Doc Mancini waited 5 days to get it on with wife number 7.

A: Oh as if he waited 5 days!

E: I wonder if he's into 'sexting'. BTW, I stand by the theory that she's Syd's killer.

A: Well she's definatley a scene killer.

E: He wants sex in his car?

A: Hmm...nope...she's one of those "The bedroom or nowhere" type of gals.

E: Oooh he's gonna find Syd's missing necklace!

A: Wait! OMG, he knew about the necklace...Vile-it didn't plant it when she banged him in there!

E: WIN!!!!!

A: Wow, total twist!

E: So maybe Doc Mancini did kill Sydney? Please say it isn't so!

E: Oh for fuck's sake...more Jonah?

A: Damn...he's wearing a shirt. Sobriety is ours.

A: Ella's pissed that Davey sent her pop-up nudie girls on her desktop? I see her point.

E: Ella: "Since when are naked women a bad thing?"

A: Hope she doesn't ask me!

E: Wait..who got the special guest-star status this week?

A: Dunno...was totally mesmerized by Ella's high beams.

E: What? Jonah is WPK's new I.T guy? It's sooo Melrose 1.0... you know without Biwwy shagging that Cougar journalist chick.

A: Wow, Doc Mancini owns the bat-mobile! That thing was super fast!

E: Mike's Merc totally kicked Davey's Porche's ass.

A: Mike names his car 'Kit'.

E: Wait a minute-- Did Mike just call him Davey?!

A: I'm guessing Doc Mancini reads our blog.

E: Shout-out!!!

E: Dear God...Amanda's shoes...

A: They got strapped to her legs to keep her upright.

E: Syd had been speaking to Amanda? Since when are they gal-pals?

A: Michael: "So did you re-unite at a support group for women who faked their deaths?" - Love it!

A: So Sydney got hold of an item belonging to Amanda?

E: Yeah and Amanda found Jane in her wardrobe.

A: Dear God, the monster is free! Protect your wardrobes!

E: Amanda : "As usual, Jane is useless"

A: I love Amanda.

E: In spite of her scary face.

A: Uh oh, random new guy. I think this was the original casting for Jonah...kind of like the original Biwwy casting for 1.0.

E: Oooh I like that! Though he is the same calibur actor as Ashlee. Imagine how dire it would have been if he had actually been cast...

A: We'd never get through a scene.

E: I'm not getting through this scene. I wish there was Vodka in my OJ.

A: I wish my OJ was Vodka....

A: Jeeezus that's alot of I.T type things...all in one room.

E: Jonah's going to find Amanda's secret files right?

A: Oooh he could!

E: And then she'd totally have sexy-time with him cause he's like young Biwwy.

A: Oooh she would!

A: BTW, I'm not revolted by Ella's outfit here.

E: Are those zippers on her earrings?

A: Yeah she's got the same nasty ass zipper head scar as Kimmy.

A: Vile-it has wide angry eyes

E: And rather good lipstick.

A: Eww she was doing her brother? Wait...oh adopted..ok..eww wait..

E: Ewww.

A: Ok he's total cult. I'm convinced now.

E: Totally..this guy is freaky shit.

E: Amanda's at the pool!!!!!!

A: I love how Amanda uses words like "old Friend" when talking about 1.0

E: And "good times"

A: Amanda and Sydney re-connected? They were never connected to begin with!

E: Except through a fist and handbag fight.

E: Amanda: "As an upstanding citizen" ? When has Amanda ever been upstanding?

A: Since she put those shoes on!

A: Jonah is playing hardball with Ella.

E: It's implying he has balls...

A: Hahahaha! Nice...ellasims@backstabbinglyers.com

E: I think we need to register that dot com.

A: For sure!

E: Wow shit is hitting the fan this week!

A: Yeah it's everywhere!

E: I wonder why it took 11 episodes...

E: Awww Michael said "My boy" in reference to Davey. That makes me feel gooey.

A: Any maternal instinct I might have had just died.

E: Oooh Syd's necklace was a family heirloom.

A: Yeah it came with Syd and Jane's grandmothers wedding dress.

E: Now that was a classy ensemble.

A: To die for....one that Jane didn't design!

A: Doc Mancini is snooping.

E: He still hasn't found the basement.

A: Good, that's OUR secret hideout!

E: He got the necklace back. He can give it to Jane to wear with her next wedding dress.

A: Why has he got the necklace? -- OOOOOH SET UP! FUCK!

E: Busted!

A: Sandra O and Davey totally set him up!

E: Sandra O is smart!

A: Hooker P.I is back. Mondays on FOX.

E: To think that we almost went a whole episode without a t-shirt moment...

A: Oh thank God... Actully...gawd.

E: It's hideous! The colors. The text. The clashing flannel shirt. The everything.

A: See now they are just totally flaunting this T-Shirt thing!

E: They are.

A: We have so much influence!

E: If he shows up in a bad directors or hands-off-the-rack T, I swear I'm gonna spazz.

A: Amanda is moving back to the place!

E: Thought: Did Jane really give Amanda permission to stay in the Penthouse?

A: I'm guessing Jane was too flustered with the new fall line to really worry.

E: She needs this thing that Syd has...i'm guessing it's the leopard print bed sheets.

***

A: Ok I feel like this is the Melrose we knew and loved.

E: Yeah, but I was so un-prepared for it that I found it really hard to be snarky this week.

A: So much so that we hardly touched the fashion and we went easy on Vile-it.

E: I was caught off guard with the the dun.dun.dun and more than one plot twist. It's so unaccustomed.

A: Awesome stuff!

E: Ashlee was diabolical as ever...

A: Doesn't count AFTER the episode has ended......ok it does.

And that's all for this week.

E has her grad-school graduation to attend next week and A will be tied down with a book full of clients, so the recap will be a little late. Don't say we haven't warned you of our tardiness, and hopefully Amanda will let us keep our jobs just this once.

much love,

A & E.