WATCHING EPISODE EIGHT...

Ok guys, time for another recap! With Melrose on hiatus last week, we started to feel a bit lost (just like gay Matt's sex-life) and we found ourselves downing shots and causing havoc at Shooters until Jake called the cops on us. So with that behind us, it's time to bitch!

A: Oh oh, Dayglow teeth is back to illuminate our screen!

E: Jonah and his penis are trying to flirt with her Dayglow teeth

A: I'm confused...it's like she can't get enough

E: Vomit

A: Yeah right on her Dayglow teeth.

A: Another outfit that has been attacked by scissors! Jane Andrews is way off in believing this 'cut-out' look is in this season.

E: She does, however, have killer legs. I'm guessing it's all that street walking she does.

A: Look! She's fake interested.

E: I'm fake interested...in fact no, I'm not interested, at all.

A: Sorry what? I was hypnotized by her teeth.

E: "on a scale of one to total tool, where do I fall?" Fairly safely on the tool end, Jonah

A: I like how she took our advice and lost the Tina Fey glasses.

****

E: Um.... was Heather Locklear in the credits?

A: Not sure, I was blinded by the Dayglow teeth.

E: Cause I just saw "special guest star Laura Leighton'

A: Think it's not for a few more weeks.

E: But I want to see what they put for Heather "extra special guest star?"

A: "Returning for lots a cash extra special guest star"

A: Yay! Syd flashback!

E: Finally!

A: I love how she is totally cougar-stalking younger men in the graveyard!

E: HOOOOTTTTTTT!

A: Aww Jane and Syd's dad died.

E: R.I.P Mr. Andrews

A: That was very be-fitting.

A: Oooh Syd n David sex!

E: Oh how I wish this was HBO.

A: Oh that was short-lived. Ok not so much with the sex.

E: I feel totally cheated now.

A: We're left with a satisfied looking Syd though.

E: And now we're looking at a dissatisfied Jonah...

A: Does Jonahs T say "I have Seagulls"?

E: Seaglass?

A: semen?

E: Sea-men...it's the CW, gotta keep it clean! Wait, it says "I Hate Seagulls!"

A: Oh...how...um..boring.

E: See, I really like "the seagull"

E: Ahhh another Jane Andrews original on Ella.

A: This is from the new winter collection I think.

E: Short jacket, long wide pants...Jane Jane Jane.

A: God, another ex-basketballer trying to act.

E: Look at Ashlee behind him...pick who's worse!

E: So Ella wants Sandra O to forge some medical documents?

A: Total Gay Matt and Michael Melrose 1.0 Shoutback!

E: Though Ella doesn't have any dirt on Sandra O yet, to make her do it.

A: I'm sure she'll know she's a whore sooner or later!

A: Another Sydney scene!

E: Dear god. Total hotness of an outfit.

A: Jane Andrews definatley did NOT design that one!

E: David seems mega pissed that Syd was sleeping with his dad.

A: Yeah I think she said something along the lines of "That's not how your dad did it"

E: Ego-punch!

A: Rack and Jonah are talking about their most played on their Ipod..."Hot hot hot" and "Unchained Melody"?

E: I vote "Don't stop Believing" and "Like a Virgin"

A: I'm edging more 90's like Alanis Morrsiette and Garbage.

E: Sex addiction...Is it real? Did you see that ad pop up?

A: Yeah I'm tempted to ask David Duchovny about that.

E: Or Michael Mancini.

E: Excellent timing Jonah. You're at a wedding and you let it slip to your fiancee that you kissed someone else.

A: It's like "Hey babes...great wedding huh? By the way, I totally pashed another bird last night"

E: He's trying to make himself feel better by clearing his conscience. He's a real man.

A: Actually, I think he's bragging..bragging that there's another girl out there that wanted to kiss him.

E: Fuck.

A: Fuck

E: Syd has to be alive.

A: Shit, that can't be her blood ALL OVER him and that knife!

E: We have such high hopes for Syd.

E: Riley and her rack are concerned.

A: Of course they are. It's their first scene with Vile-it in quite some time.

E: Do you need a cold shower?

A: Tempted, but Auggie's toplessness is forcing me to sit it out. DROOL.

E: NO!

A: No no no!

E: She's not under that headstone!

A: Syd is alive dammit! If she's not, i'm loosing interest.

E: If we weren't recapping, I'd be fast forwarding.

A: Right...must go on! Oooh the portable bathroom!

E: It is quite mesmerizing, isn't it. Especially with the peach shower curtain.

A: The pastel color is calming.

E: Remember Alison's moon and stars bathrobe?

A: The blue and yellow one?

E: Yeah. That would make a great shower curtain.

END.

E: Is it wrong that I'm glad it's over? This one had about 5 minutes I actually enjoyed...all of them featuring Syd.

A: You know, even with the bloody body in the pool, the knife, the blood, the CSI style evidence board and the tombstone, I still hold faith that Syd is alive.

E: If she's not, why the fuck would anyone watch? I mean, Jane is supposedly the landlord, but we haven't seen her...

A: That darn walk-in wardrobe. She'll find her way out one day!

E: Jo is suuuuper interesting (and hot) and could make for really interesting storylines

A: Yeah she could hook up with Bi-sexless Ella. Jo could totally dominate her!

E: This I could get on board with.

...and that's all for now. Until next week...

Much Love,

A&E